Monday, August 31, 2009

[5 Days to Go] Mustaches for Michigan Drinks Your Milk Shake

Swear words contained within. If you are offended by such explicit expletives, we suggest you pretend they aren't there.

You have been inundated with the story from all angles by now. It's not our aim here to address said article -- that has already been done by actual credible writers (links found 3 posts below). No. Our aim is to swear. A lot. A goddamned fucking metric ton of face-melting, mouth-washing swearing. Cursing for Cripes Sake! Lenny Bruce would blush. A priggishly piss of bloody "oh yeah? fuck-you, assholes." Not to be over-the-top insane-o or edge-of-the-ledge reactionary. Just to swear. Like a man. With a mustache. Just because. To get it all out. It will be therapeutic, I promise...

Michael Rosenberg and Mark Snyder are cock raping thunder cunts. The blasphemous tripe from these fuckstick no talent asshole rimming cocksuckers is appalling.

So, Rosenberg and Snyder, fuck you and your fucking motherfuck of a retarded monkey shit rag you call the Detroit Free Press. May you get runny dog poo caked underneath your fingernails! May you stub your toe on the door frame as you cross the threshold of your bathroom to pee each morning! Oh yeah, and one other thing: fuuuuucckkkkk you. Fuck you in the ear. That's right, your fucking ear, you slippery dickweed cock-gargling slappies. The pair of you are fucktards with no journalistic integrity. YOU ARE FALSE PROPHETS!

While Mustaches for Michigan has no problem with swearing (see above), we do not advocate violence simply because -- boo hoo! -- someone wrote mean words about our football team. But. But they deserve to be punched in the face. Hard. At random. By many many people. Michael Rosenberg and Mark Snyder, if I see you walking down the street, my beard and I are going to punch you in the face. Possibly break your fucking noses. And maybe your pinky finger too, just because. Yea, that's right, your fucking noses. Till they bleed. Oh, there will be blood.


Do you feel better?

[5 Days To Go] The Free Press Has No Mustache

It's been stated earlier. But, it needs to be stated again.

Those with mustaches are for us. Those without are against us. The Free Press has no mustache.

THE FREE PRESS HAS NO MUSTACHE.Michael Rosenberg has no Mustache.

Also, multiple sources with the Detroit Free Press have stated that Michael Rosenberg hates puppies--absolutely LOATHES them, in fact. Said sources may or may not currently work at the Free Press. ESPN's Joe Schad to confirm shortly.

[5 Days To Go] Damn Right.

The team rallies around Rich Rodriguez in today's presser (from MGoBlog):

[5 Days To Go] Nice Going, Detroit Free Press


This is looking more and more like an editorial blunder:

Rivals.com:
"Detroit Free Press columnist Michael Rosenberg's expose on Michigan workout program revealed a shocking breach of rules that should cause somebody to lose his job. That somebody is Michael Rosenberg's editor."
[Article Link]

The Huge Blog:
"The Free Press' story seemed forced and one-sided. If rules actually were violated and there is proof, then the NCAA will deal with it and rightfully so. Michigan football should get hit if it cheated."
[Article Link]

We'll let others do the talking, including parents of current Michigan players:

Ron Stokes (Je'Ron Stokes' Father):
"I think it is a DISGRACE for any person with the "power of the pen", to mis-use that priviledge for ill intent. For the reporter that interviewed my son, "twisted his quotes in such a way to bring suspicion on our Michigan program, is pathetic!!! Coach Rich Rod, and his staff run a very respectable program, and they do a wonderful job of making sure that their staff as well as their players understand the NCAA rules, as well as the team rules. My son by know means has any complaints, with the Coaches, the workouts etc... HE LOVE MICHIGAN, HE LOVES BLUE NATION, and he is excited and ready to go into this season with his teamates who are just as excited to be part of a special season in yet another page of Michigans history to regain National prominence."
[From Rivals]

Obi Ezeh's Parents:
"Grand Rapids Catholic Central standout Obi Ezeh now plays linebacker for the Michigan Wolverines. His parents say they're stunned by the accusations, and they don't believe the coaching staff would break NCAA rules. Nkechy Obi told FOX 17 News, "When I read the report, the one thing I said to myself is what's wrong in kids working hard, why is it being twisted now, that they're breaking the rule? I don't think the coaches are breaking any rules and I don't think my son would go along with it."
[Article Link]

Mike Schofield (Michael Shofield's Father):
"He came home, and there was no Barwis police chasing my son around, and at the (offseason) workouts, there were no coaches in disguises and no secret passages. ... This is just the perspective from a parent -- we had a great experience with coach Rod and his staff during recruiting. When the accusations came out, my first feeling was, 'I don't believe them.' "
[Article Link]

Chad Henne, Former Michigan Quarterback:
“Twenty hours is a very, very small portion of what you do, especially if you’re a quarterback at a high-profile school,” Henne, now with the Miami Dolphins, said in a phone interview Sunday. “Twenty hours isn’t enough for you. You have to be in there by yourself, studying film, no coaches around, and doing it on your own. That’s where the leadership comes in and that’s where, if you want to get better and play better, you have to do it on your own.”
[Article Link]


Good work, Rosenberg & Snyder. Journalistic integrity is safe with you two at the helm. Of course, none of this would have been possible without help from their great Editor.

To reach Michael Rosenberg, his office line is 313-222-6052 and his email is rosenberg@freepress.com

To reach Mark Snyder, his office line is 313-223-3210 and his email is msnyder@freepress.com

Sunday, August 30, 2009

[6 Days To Go] The Team, The Team, The Team

In light of the recent articles in the Detroit Free Press, we give you this:


While we applaud free speech and freedom of the press, we're less than enthused with the lack of objectivity and insinuating language weaved into the recent "exposé".

From father of freshman offensive lineman Michael Schoefield (via MGoBlog):

Michael came home a couple times to visit, and there was no one chasing him home to get back to practice. He played games at the dorms, they went to hospitals for sick kids, camps for special needs children, and none of that was in the paper.

They went to study halls a lot, and none of that was in the paper.

My youngest son went to Michigan's sports camp in June, and I said to Michael, "here’s your brother who gets to see and workout with your coach, who you can't even see until August." There were no coaches in disguise monitoring the workouts. The timing of this is terrible.

The worst part of all of this is that the reporters targeted the freshman, with misleading questions they can get them to say anything. I’m a fire chief, and I deal with the media. I don’t let my men deal with the media, because they can get them to say anything. They could make us sound like the worst station out there if they wanted to.

Without names, this article means nothing to me.


Further words from Schoefield here.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

[7 Days To Go] Billy Dee Williams Has A Message For You

Rule No. 1: Never run out of Colt 45
Rule No. 2: Never forget Rule No. 1

Friday, August 28, 2009

[8 Days To Go] Location, Location, Location


Gather 'round, fellow Mustached men, women, and children! We present you with a list of alumni bars where you may congregate with other cookie dusters in support of The Movement on September 5th:

California
South
3001 Wilshire Blvd
Santa Monica, CA

Hollywood Billiards
5750 Hollywood Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90028

1979 Union Street
San Francisco, CA

Illinois
Duffy's Tavern
420 1/2 W Diversey Pkwy
Chicago, IL

Louisiana
Cooter Brown's Tavern
509 S Carrollton Ave
New Orleans, LA

Michigan
The Arena Sport Bar & Grill
203 E Washington St
Ann Arbor, MI

Pennsylvania
1501 Spruce St
Philadelphia, PA

2002 Northway Mall
Pittsburgh, PA

Texas
Third Base
1717 West 6th St
Austin, TX

Washington
Buckley's In Belltown
2331 2nd Ave
Seattle, WA

Washington, DC
Buffalo Billiards
1330 19th St NW
Washington, DC

Keep checking back for more location updates. Official Alumni game-watching locations here.

Week 3 Round Up coming...

Thursday, August 27, 2009

[9 Days to Go] Chick Magnet


Consider this your warning. We need to be up front about this because, quite frankly, this is serious business. Seriously. In 9 days, when you shave down the beard to a mustache, you are going to have a powerful tool of attraction residing on your upper-lip. It is literally a chick magnet (female humans and just-hatched chickens cannot resist). Yes, yes, a Mustache for Michigan wields the force to win games. That is our goal. The by-product of the 'stache is that it gets the ladies like it's the 1980's. You'll get more trim than Tom Selleck and Hulk Hogan combined.

Women will want you. Men will want to be like you. You'll have the lure of the animal -- the kavorka! It's called a mustache ride for a reason, yo.

And much like Toby Maguire's existential dilemma, with great power comes great responsibility. There may be many among you that would devilishly abuse your newfound power of attraction to slay more poon than Daniel Day Lewis in The Unbearable Lightness of Being. To you I say: "Bro, not cool. Are you sure you aren't a Michigan State fan?"

But to keep you in line, you should know the mustache is a double-edged sword. That cookie duster not only ups the sexy but also your virility. You'll get women, yes... and then impregnate them. The potency of your gravy cannot be contained or sterilized. There's consequences to the mustached kavorka. So heed this warning, lest you litter the earth with your bastard children. Beware the power of the 'stache. Beware!

The real reason for Jon & Kate's plus eight.

[Keep the photos coming; send us your progress to mustaches4michigan@gmail.com.]

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

[10 Days To Go] The Better Half

At a glance, this whole Mustaches For Michigan thing isn't the most feminine of movements. Letting loose a full crop of whiskers on the tract of land that is your upper lip is downright masculine. It screams, "I'm a dude, I know I'm a dude, don't believe me? Here are my credentials!" But that isn't the intention of The Movement, and alternative vehicles like Pregnant For Michigan would have required several more months of advance notice for the proper effect on September 5th.

The intention, as belabored as it may be at this point, is to unite fans on September 5th in a visual cacophony... Whether you are at the Big House, an alumni bar, or in the family room of your parents' home where Mom serves you Capri Sun and still does your laundry because you can't bring yourself to face that scary, scary world out there.

Truth is, it doesn't matter where you are, it doesn't matter who you are, and it doesn't matter what gender you are, so long as you support one basic premise: that Michigan, their 3-9 season record, and Rich Rodriguez are worth rooting for.

A little while ago, we posted a link to this. It's a template for a mustache. A Mustache For Michigan. Print it out. Cut it. Wear it. Brandish it like a knife or use it to call attention to the waitress when she passes your table for the umpteenth time without bringing another ice cold pitcher.


But use it wisely. Because it's a mustache. For Michigan.

[Keep the photos coming; send us your progress to mustaches4michigan@gmail.com.]

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

[11 Days to Go] Those Who Grow Will Be Champions.

I get it. It's the dog days of August and the beard is getting a little out of hand. It's hot. It's really hot. It itches. And truth be told, I don't grow a very thick beard. It's rough and bristly and patchy. Like a 40 Yard Fake-Out -- you know, that super hot girl that you spy down the street but as you approach... she hurts your lifeforce with her harsh looks -- my beard is fine from a distance. Closer inspection reveals a sordid story of multiple colored hairs, shaggy in length, sporadic in growth. There's brown hairs, a touch of blonde, and, true to my Irish heritage, even random red hairs (This may be the most distressing as - aside from the beard - there's not another red hair on my body). And I suspect that I'm beginning to lose that Los Feliz chic and have jumped the rails into Mountain Man territory. Give me a red plaid shirt and I'll look just like the guy on Brawny rolls of paper towels.

Earlier into this Mustaching for Michigan experiment I wrote:
We are so fierce in our fandom that not even the concerned looks from Mothers in supermarkets as they pull their children in closer as we pass sporting our glorious mustaches
This, as I have come to find, was a foretelling of the truth. And I haven't even shaved the beard into a mustache. The world treats you differently with facial hair. It puts up a barrier between, a wooly road block on the surface of a once inviting and smooth facade. So much for a disarming smile, the beard obfuscates with a "this man is not to be trusted" signal that's read loud and clear.

Ryan Gosling and Ryan Reynolds fit right in with non-Ryans whilst sporting beards. Is it because of the beards? You tell me.

There are some dudes out that prefer the bearded look. And to you I say: Cool, man. Rock it. More power to you. But what's hiding under there? I am suspicious of you and will cross the street when I see you approaching. I'm sure that your beard and my beard would probably get along. But I don't want your beard giving mine any ideas, because clearly you are not to be trusted.

Regardless. The growth continues. September 5th is rapidly approaching. Stay steadfast with that facial hair. I know it's hard, I know. But think of all the training the young men on our Football team have endured. They've been Barwis'd. And you've been bearded. Who has had the rougher time of it? I know the desire to shave is growing with each scraggly hair on your untrustworthy face... But Those Who Grow Will Be Champions! In eleven short days we will be rocking Mustaches, man, Mustaches! And in our mustachioed support, we will guide our team to victory with the mass support of our cosmically chained cookie dusters. So stay strong! Grow thy Beard! August is almost up.

[Keep the photos coming; send us your progress to mustaches4michigan@gmail.com.]


Monday, August 24, 2009

[12 Days To Go] James Earl Jones, Michigan Man, Finds Your Lack Of Faith Disturbing








“Impressive. Most impressive, young Forcier. Lloybie Wan Carr-obi and Rod Solo have taught you well. You have controlled your fear. Now release your follicles. Only your mustache can destroy the Buckstachios now. “

“Never. I’ll never join you.”

Tate, you do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. Join me, and I will complete your mustache. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order back to the Big Ten.”

To be continued …


Sunday, August 23, 2009

[13 Days To Go] The Inevitable Regression of Charlie Weis

In 1978, Charlie Weis was a student at the University of Notre Dame. He seemingly had his head on straight:


Fortunately for Michigan fans, he abandoned light-hearted clairvoyance for corpulent arrogance:


His early mustached days propelled him to enviable success, hitting a zenith with the New England Patriots. But having stood on the shoulders of giants like Tom Brady, Bill Belichick, and The Stache, he confused his ascendancy with his own merit (and sold it to Notre Dame, ha!). We are witnessing The Waning Years.

Enough said. We'll see you in September, Charlie.

[Keep the photos coming; send us your progress to mustaches4michigan@gmail.com.]

Saturday, August 22, 2009

[14 Days To Go] Mustache Mania

2 weeks to go, fellow mustachers. The Movement marches forward, and we indulge you in a video clip today. ESPN interviews Dr. Aaron Perlut, Chairman of the American Mustache Institute:


"What is it about athletes and facial hair and their choices that compels you so?"

"Well, I think it's more the immense power that, uh, wearing a cookie duster can deliver to that athlete. Or even intellectually; you know, take a look at Rick Ankiel of the Cardinals. Earlier in the season he was batting, I believe, .160. And he shaved a beard down to a flavor saving instrument of justice. Overnight his batting average jumped 71 points."

Friday, August 21, 2009

[15 Days to Go] Week 2 Round Up

Comrade Rodriguez deplores you: Where is your beard??

And you, our brethren in the Mustaches for Michigan Revolution, have answered.


Thanks for the Mustaches, Michigan fans. Remember to keep sending in those photos. As we've said in this space before...
Ah the anticipation of a new season, a chance to put 2008 in the past, and levy our growing optimistic expectations of the season. Drink beer, watch football. Do manly things. With Mustaches. For Michigan. Where ever you may be - the Big House, tailgating, your favorite alumni bar, your living room - you will document the occasion through modern photographic technology and send us pictures of your mustaches. We will post them.

Why?

Because ultimately, Mustaches for Michigan is about community, man. It's about showing our support in an ironically juvenile manner. It's about banding together, forming the solidarity and bonds that only a mustache can spurn. Think, just think!, of all the Mustached Michigan Men out there watching that same game with a beer foam mustache... on their mustache. Together we will come together and form a network of mustaches, and when you call me (how did you get my number?), it will not be me that answers. It will be my mustache.
Because...
With every Mustache for Michigan, we are creating a network of mustaches, a circuit of positive energy. Each individual mustache a pod, of sorts, that collectively feeds a current to the greater machine. Yours, mine, every Mustached Michigan Man becomes a force that will lift up like tiny, bristly antennas to the sky, connecting to each other and strengthening in numbers, adding to the ethos of Michigan Football.

This is the mustache collective. So fucking grow that Mustache for Michigan.
Welcome to the ranks, our mustachioed friends. Here's to your mustache!

Follically Yours,

Mustaches for Michigan.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

[16 Days to Go] Get Naked Man

We at Mustaches for Michigan are, as you might have guessed, fans of Michigan Football. We're out there, on the internets, reading blogs, message boards, constantly consuming information. Of course, you can't mention Michigan Football and the internet in the same sentence without thinking of MGoBlog.

About a year ago, there was an MGoBlog banner contest that yielded this submission:

The naked man banner - as it's been called by the MGoBlog diehards - then begat this thread, reproduced here without permission as originally written by MGoCommenter JBE nearly a year ago to the day. It is presented here to remind you of its mustacheness:
She was sculptor and a stone cold fox. Long blond hair and hazel eyes and a freedom about her that eased him out of his loneliness. He would come by her place, a nice two story flat across town that her wealthy parents owned, and discuss art and life and sink into the couch and drink a beer.

It was a turbulent time of disco and chaos and she stayed out of the scene by cloistering herself in her home and painting or walking to the library to read Huxley or Pynchon. Her art could be described as a homage to vaginal dexterity and he watched her sexy ass float around the room with splattered color on her polyester. She slid that brush across the canvas and bit her top lip and told him that she thought his moustache was cool. He told her all his secrets. His poverty, his illusive father, his dance floor mamma, and, of course, he told her of his loneliness.

He kept his cool and never pursued the other side, that deep dark damp blackness that made his heart pump. When she asked why he came by everyday, he replied, "because I like to watch you paint and drink a beer and smoke a little grass."

In autumn, she was abnormally quiet and reserved and painted a wonderful piece with a flower oozing pollinated glory. She removed her smock and straddled him on the couch and whispered, "I am leaving this place. I must."

He walked down the dark street and watched the leaves fall and thought deeply and solemnly. He couldn't let her leave, the emptiness would be too great. He went to Shoey Featherson's pad and demanded his friend, a budding photographer, take a picture of him. The picture came out just right.

On that miserable rainy day, he watched the burly men move her belongings into a large truck. He waited for his moment. She got inside her volkswagen and turned the ignition and he slipped into the passenger seat and grabbed her hand and placed the picture in her palm.

"I want you to groove on this for the rest of your life," he said and kissed her on the cheek. She left anyway, driving right out of his dreams.

Later that night, he strolled with a funky rhythm to the Fleetwood Diner. He sucked down his coke through a straw and winked at the foxy waitress. The waitress giggled and he forcefully grabbed her arm and pulled her close and whispered, "Man for sale and your currency is just right."

The waitress made love to him in the freezer against the frozen tenderloin of the Fleetwood. Nine months later, MGOBLOG was born; kicking and screaming and wanting more.
[Keep the photos coming; send us your progress to mustaches4michigan@gmail.com. The next roundup is coming tomorrow!]

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

[17 Days to Go] Mustache, Man. Mustache.

mus⋅tache[muhs-tash, muh-stash]

-noun
1. the hair growing on the upper lip
2. such hair on men, allowed to grow without shaving, and often trimmed in any of various shapes
3. hairs or bristles growing near the mouth of a mammal
-adjective
1. extremely impressive or daunting; inspiring great admiration
1a. informal: extremely good; excellent

Sometimes a word enters the lexicon and it cannot be ignored. It catches on like wildfire and spreads quicker than that virus in Season 3 of 24. The word galvanizes itself in to popular culture and becomes a zeitgeist of the times. In the 80's we had 'rad'. In the 90's it was 'sweet, bro'. In 2003, Old School brought back the 'awesome'. And we can thank How I Met Your Mother for sustaining it.

In 2009, as we prepare yet again to make another glacial shift into a new decade, we bring you 'mustache'. It connotes the same as the examples given above. Here's an example of its everyday use:

Not Me: Dude, I hooked up with the hottest chick last night.

Me: Mustache, Dude. Mustache.

Not Me: Yeah... but she gave me crabs.

Me: Ouch. Not mustache.

Mustache, dude. It's gonna be a thing. Fear not, for it too can be applied to sports and with non-chauvinistic examples no less! Let's take a look at some memorable Michigan plays from the recent past...

We certainly all remember when Alan Branch concussed Penn State's Anthony Morelli in 2006. That play, oh man, that was mustache. Eat it, Penn State:

And, as long as we are on the topic of dominating Penn State, remember the year before when Manningham ended their perfect season and dashed their national title hopes? Yeah, that was mustache too.

Or the 2004 Michigan State game? Sorry Little Brother, you thought you had that one in the bag. Then, well, Braylon Edwards called upon the mighty power of his mustache…

…and this happened:

Mustache.

Boom. Knowledge dropped. Consider yourself educated. Now add that to your vernacular employ the empowerment of the 'stache in your Michigan argot. This fall, and in particular on September 5th, when Brandon Minor is trucking over fools - or when Tate is slicing up Western's secondary like Christian Troy in Nip/Tuck - you know the words to utter from your mustached mouth: Fucking mustache, man.

[Keep the photos coming; send us your progress to mustaches4michigan@gmail.com. The next roundup is this coming Friday.]


Tuesday, August 18, 2009

[18 Days To Go] Send Us Your Photos!

We're approaching Friday's Roundup (Part Deux) and finding that photo submissions are waning. If you're part of The Movement and haven't submitted your progress, get on it! If you're part of The Movement and figured you'd unveil your crumb catcher in its full glory on September 5th, more power to you... But... If you've thought about documenting your progress and haven't gotten around to it yet, we implore you: SEND IN YOUR STACHES!

Send photos here: mustaches4michigan@gmail.com.

Magnum, P.I. for inspiration:

[18 Days To Go] Staches in Sports: Unleashing The Power

St. Louis enhances performance the old fashioned way.

We sit here in mid-August and revel in the subtle changes that occur when you start preparing your misshapen grill for a glorious mustache. Whiskey suddenly seems more appropriate. Watching Tombstone produces a sense of community. And shaven people somehow seem weaker and ineffective.

But the changes are a bit farther reaching. We're finding that especially true in the realm of sports. And one need not go back very far to find examples.

Take the recent success of the St. Louis Cardinals: In June, the uninspired team lost 17 of 29 games, including losses in 7 of their last 9 games. And then... the power of The Stache brought them back. They started growing nose gardens July 1. The result? They now stand atop the NL Central standings.

Said manager Tony La Russa:

"The better they pitch, the better they look. I thought (Tuesday) night Wainwright looked gorgeous."

Well done, fellas.

We can do better than this Rice player

Or take the Rice Owls: the team began growing mustaches last year in Houston during the preseason, not shaving until their first loss against Vanderbilt. How did they fare? They went 10-3, finishing with a win over none other than... a clean shaven Western Michigan in the Texas Bowl.

Rice, we salute your mustached insight.

And Western Michigan: The Mustache is coming for you. Again.

[Keep the photos coming; send us your progress to mustaches4michigan@gmail.com. The next roundup is this coming Friday.]

Monday, August 17, 2009

[19 Days to Go] Mustached Michigan Newsmen

Here at Mustaches for Michigan, we love us some news. Especially when that news is broadcast to us through the maize and blue lens of a Michigan grad. Today, we bring you the mustaches of some of our famous news anchor alumni.

David Shuster, Michigan Man

Record vs. Ohio State, in his lifetime: 20-20-2; all tied up.

Probably best known for: being suspended from MSNBC during the primaries, after he referred to Chelsea Clinton as being “pimped out” by her mother’s campaign.

Another notable report filed recently by this intrepid reporter, and one for which he is sure to be nominated for a Peabody, is this one, where he discusses the finer points of the “Teabagging” movement.

“It‘s going to be teabagging day for the right-wing and they're going nuts for it. Thousands of them whipped out the festivities early this past weekend, and while the parties are officially toothless, the teabaggers are full-throated about their goals.

"They want to give President Obama a strong tongue-lashing and lick government spending--spending they did not oppose when they were under presidents Bush and Reagan.” …

“[Neil] Cavuto, defending his network‘s proportion of teabagging said, quote, "We are going to be right in middle of these teabaggers, because at FOX, we do not pick and choose these rallies and protests. We were there for the Million Man March.” …

“Of course, the Million Man March occurred, as NewsHounds.org points out, almost a year before FOX News was on the air.”

“We can only speculate why widespread teabagging made Cavuto think of the Million Man March, unless he got them confused with Dick Armey. And in Cavuto‘s defense, if you are planning simultaneous teabagging all around the country, you‘re going to need a Dick Armey.”

David, in all seriousness, we love you here at Mustaches for Michigan. Keep up the good work. And tell that fat fuck Ed you want your time slot back.


Sanjay Gupta, Michigan Man

Record vs. Ohio State, in his lifetime: 20-18-2; Michigan leads.

Probably best known for: being CNN’s Chief Medical Correspondent

Let me start by saying, Sanjay Gupta is such a badass, he turned down the post of U.S. Surgeon General offered to him by the Obama administration. He had better shit to do, or something. Also crossed off his list of badassery: being one of People Magazine’s Sexiest Men, circa 2003.

Mr. Gupta hails from Novi, and attended a premed/med school hybrid program at U of M. He is reportedly a season-ticket holder and a big fan of Rich Rodriguez.


Mike Wallace, Michigan Man

Record vs. Ohio State, in his lifetime: 45-42-4, Michigan leads.

Probably best known for: 70 years of journalism, 20 Emmy Wins

Known for his take-no-prisoners style of interview, Mike Wallace has also battled chronic depression over the years. His well-documented disdain for Ohio State always puts a smile on our mustached faces, and when interviewed about the best rivalry in all of sports for HBO, he beamed, “I cannot think of a happier experience.”

Mike, we here at Mustaches for Michigan salute you, sir. May you live and work many more years, and may those years be filled with many more mustached Michigan wins.


[Keep the photos coming; send us your progress to mustaches4michigan@gmail.com. The next roundup is this coming Friday.]

Sunday, August 16, 2009

[20 Days To Go] The Movement Grows: When Carcajous Attack! Joins


We proudly welcome When Carcajous Attack! to The Movement. And we take delight in his words:
"Listen to me when I tell you that a Michigan Stadium jam-packed with over one hundred thousand mustache-brandishing Wolverine partisans on September 5th would be such a stunning sight - so powerful and endearing - and far too magnanimous for resentment, no one will be able to capture such an event and put it to words or music."

Welcome aboard.

[Keep the photos coming; send us your progress to mustaches4michigan@gmail.com. The next roundup is this coming Friday.]

Saturday, August 15, 2009

[21 Days to Go] Follicular Fodder for Facial Hair Formations

We are in awe of these bearded and mustached men.



Friday, August 14, 2009

[22 Days To Go] Week 1 Roundup

So, as we end Week 1 of Mustaches For Michigan and we enter Week 2 with twenty-two days to go, we are excited. Excited for Rich Rodriguez to slap some hoes - Notre Dame, MSU, PSU, OSU... maybe even Wayne Brady too. Excited for Michigan to put behind the [expletive deleted] season. And, most importantly, excited for that first game on September 5th.

The alumni and fan base is strong, and we have proof: since we launched, we've had the privilege of being linked on The Wolverine Blog and MGoBlog - two fine representations of our community. Thank you, guys. As Michigan Fans, we salute you. May your mustaches grow exponentially - a logarithmic improbability, we know. But still.

As promised, each Friday we will present you with our growth. Yes in a creepy internet way. Here are some of the photos towards Mustache-dom we have collected (we understand it's been short notice, and we understand that some of you may be joining us a little late. However, we appreciate all of your contributions... and we need more). The Movement is about sporting a mustache for the September 5th opener. But, at its core, it's about showing support for a new era. It's about facing what lies ahead with resolve and purpose.

Mustache, we celebrate you. Michigan's 2009 football squad, we celebrate you too. Oh, what's that you say? Too cheesy? Well thats just our Mustaches speaking. Goddamnit, fine. That's us; we are cheesy. Our mustaches say: GROW A F#*@ING MUSTACHE FOR MICHIGAN!

We're behind you, Rich.

Week 1 photo update:

As always, keep sending us your photos to mustaches4michigan@gmail.com. Go Blue.

Et Cetera: Shout out to The Wright Stache... You're preaching to the choir, my man.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

[23 Days to Go] The Mustache and What Could Have Been

September 1, 2007—A day that shall live in infamy. Only, we here at Mustaches for Michigan wish that it wouldn’t live on at all. But to this day, we still have nightmares of “The Horror.” How could we not? As much as we’d love to place said event firmly in the rearview and never look back (and we try), there are those who conspire to keep it front and center. That Sportsline’s Dennis Dodd feels compelled to continually make mention should come as no surprise. Dennis Dodd works for CBS. That same network continues to employ Gary Danielson, after all.


Stay Tuned, More at 11

Unfortunately, Dodd’s not alone in his mission of continued misery. This very morning, Bloomington's Herald-Times sportswriter Hugh Kellenberger made reference on the Hoosier Scoop. “First, Appalachian State pulled off the upset of the century.” It should be noted, Hugh Kellenberg attended Appalachian State. How he found his way across the Mason-Dixon line and into Big Ten country remains a mystery. It’s no mystery wherefore neither Kellenberger, nor Dodd, nor Danielson sport a mustache.


No Mustaches. No Surprise.

Those sporting mustaches are for us. Those not sporting mustaches are against us. This much is clear. It follows that on the morning of September 1, 2007, Armanti Edwards ate some breakfast, took a shower, and then promptly and thoroughly shaved. Where the events of the day truly begin to take shape is in the opposing locker room with one, Chad Henne.


Et tu, Henné?


It does not require a keen eye to surmise what’s sorely missing. Yet, photo evidence suggests that Henne was oftentimes far from clean shaven. There exists many a picture of him cradling a beer in one hand and a blonde in the other with the seedling of a Michigan Mustache taking root on his upper lip. There is little doubt he scored, and repeatedly so, on those evenings of photographic record. This begs the question, could “The Horror” have been avoided if Henne had manned up the week prior?

Oh! If Only We'd Known Then, What We Know Now


There's little doubt. RoboStache equals championship.


[As always, keep the photos coming! Send us your mustaching prep photo to: mustaches4michigan@gmail.com]

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