Monday, August 31, 2009

[5 Days to Go] Mustaches for Michigan Drinks Your Milk Shake

Swear words contained within. If you are offended by such explicit expletives, we suggest you pretend they aren't there.

You have been inundated with the story from all angles by now. It's not our aim here to address said article -- that has already been done by actual credible writers (links found 3 posts below). No. Our aim is to swear. A lot. A goddamned fucking metric ton of face-melting, mouth-washing swearing. Cursing for Cripes Sake! Lenny Bruce would blush. A priggishly piss of bloody "oh yeah? fuck-you, assholes." Not to be over-the-top insane-o or edge-of-the-ledge reactionary. Just to swear. Like a man. With a mustache. Just because. To get it all out. It will be therapeutic, I promise...

Michael Rosenberg and Mark Snyder are cock raping thunder cunts. The blasphemous tripe from these fuckstick no talent asshole rimming cocksuckers is appalling.

So, Rosenberg and Snyder, fuck you and your fucking motherfuck of a retarded monkey shit rag you call the Detroit Free Press. May you get runny dog poo caked underneath your fingernails! May you stub your toe on the door frame as you cross the threshold of your bathroom to pee each morning! Oh yeah, and one other thing: fuuuuucckkkkk you. Fuck you in the ear. That's right, your fucking ear, you slippery dickweed cock-gargling slappies. The pair of you are fucktards with no journalistic integrity. YOU ARE FALSE PROPHETS!

While Mustaches for Michigan has no problem with swearing (see above), we do not advocate violence simply because -- boo hoo! -- someone wrote mean words about our football team. But. But they deserve to be punched in the face. Hard. At random. By many many people. Michael Rosenberg and Mark Snyder, if I see you walking down the street, my beard and I are going to punch you in the face. Possibly break your fucking noses. And maybe your pinky finger too, just because. Yea, that's right, your fucking noses. Till they bleed. Oh, there will be blood.

Do you feel better?

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